9 tips to find joy in the mundaneness of motherhood. Real talk and real solutions to deal with feeling lost as a stay at home mom.
There are many moments in motherhood that no one can prepare you for, like the deep and genuine love you feel for your kids that makes you want to explode!
But, there’s also another side of motherhood that seems to be even more rarely discussed and it can leave you feeling unprepared and underwhelmed; the mundaneness that often fills yours days as a mom of young kids.
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Mundaneness in Motherhood
mun·dane
/ˌmənˈdān/ adjective
- 1.lacking interest or excitement; dull.
You might wonder if it’s normal to feel this way as you clean up the same mess day after day, load and unload the same dishwasher, and fight the same battles of kids fighting over toys and bedtime routines. The answer is yes! And it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids or don’t love being a mom.
Motherhood is hard. It might be different than what you imagined and you might miss your old life before you had kids. The days are long and the daily tasks can seem boring and repetitive.
As a stay at home mom of two toddlers, there are days that I feel down and stuck in the mundaneness of motherhood (i.e. today, as I searched my own soul and decided to sit down and right this post to help me get out of a rut). But, i’ve learned a few tricks along the way to help me feel fulfilled as a stay at home mom and find joy in each day.
Your feelings of mundaneness are valid. You are not alone. But, that doesn’t mean you should dwell on them every day to the point of depression or other mental illness. I am sharing my tips for dealing with the mundaneness of motherhood, but please consult with your doctor or therapist if you need additional help.
Motherhood Tip #1: Remember that Children are Gifts
Try to remember that children are gifts and you are very blessed to be their mama! Motherhood is likely something you dreamed of and the fact that you have a child means that it’s your calling to be their mom.
You might have had trouble getting pregnant or know others who have (if you don’t personally know anyone, let me tell you that 1 in 8 couples struggle to get pregnant and 6.7 million women struggle with infertility each year) so cherish your kids and try to enjoy them as much as possible.
Mom Tip #2: Your Role is Important
Your job as a mother is important! No one else can mother your children like you can, you were literally born to be their mom.
Whenever you start to feel sad or bored with your job as a mother, think of all the things you do for your kids each day and how you are caring for them and teaching them to grow and be better people. Here are some examples, but feel free to make your own list.
- You feed them which helps nourish their bodies and grow
- You wash the dishes so that they are clean to help feed your family
- You hug and kiss them to show they are loved and cared for
- You change their diapers or bathe them to keep them clean and healthy
- You sleep train or rock them to sleep to be sure they are well-rested
- You clean up to give them a safe and cozy space to play and learn
- You wash their clothes so that they feel clean and safe
- You teach them consequences so that they feel confident in the world
Stay at Home Mom Tip #3: Visualize The End Goal
Another way to help beat the feeling of mundaneness in motherhood is to visualize the end goal and remember how good it feels once you get there! You should never shoot for perfection – since you will realistically never reach it – but set a realistic goal and strive to get there each day.
I loathe cleaning the kitchen each day, but the feeling when it’s neat and organized at the end of the day keeps me going. I sometimes dread the weekly task of doing the laundry, but I know if I push through I will soon be staring at a full closet and empty laundry basket. I dislike emptying the dishwasher, but I know once i’m able to get those dirty dishes out of the sink I will be a lot less stressed!
Motherhood Tip #4: Do Something Daily That Brings You Joy
To help keep yourself going, do something daily that brings you joy! This will help to split up your day or will give you something to look forward to each day. Everyone will have their own thing that fills them up, but here are some ideas:
- meet up with a friend for coffee or a play date
- exercise at home or at the gym
- get out of the house for a walk
- call a family member or friend
- binge on your favorite show or set aside time to read
- enjoy a warm bath at the end of the day
Read More >>> My Homemade Pumpkin Cold brew Recipe
Mom Life Tip #5: Imagine the Mom You Want To Be
This isn’t to say that you should compare yourself to others or strive to be something you’re not, but imagine the mom you want to be and work intentionally to be that type of person.
If you want to be the mom who always has baked goods on hand, try baking with your kids once each week (they will love learning cooking skills and eating the treats!). If you want to be the mom who wakes up before her kids, set your alarm 5 mins earlier each day and have a warm cup of coffee waiting for you. If you want to be the mom who takes her kids on field trips, set aside time to intentionally research each week and make plans.
Mundaneness in Motherhood Tip #6: Work Towards Small Goals
If the daily tasks associated with motherhood become boring and daunting, work towards setting small goals each day to help you feel motivated to keep going. There is SOOO much to do as a stay at home mom. The house work, crafts, cleaning, laundry, activities, meal time, ect. can seem never ending and it can be so overwhelming that you don’t know where to start.
Set small goals to accomplish each week, each day, and even at time periods throughout the day. Find a daily routine or schedule that works or you and your family. Here are some of my small daily goals that help push me to get things done:
- Get everyone ready by 9 a.m. (yes that means we get dressed every day)
- Do some sort of outing or activity before lunch
- Do something for myself (work, workout, or relax) during nap time
- Empty the dishwasher, pick up the kitchen, and complete 1 daily task before my husband gets home around 4:30 p.m.
- Tidy the kitchen and load the dishwasher after dinner
There’s obviously a lot more that gets done each day (most of the time), but setting these small goals instead of trying to keep the entire house clean 24/7 or deep clean every room each week helps me compartmentalize and actually get things done.
Mom Tip #7: Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
In the world of the internet, tv, and social media, it can be so hard not to compare yourself to others. But, the reality is you don’t know their exact situation or what’s going on in their life. For example, I sometimes post cute pictures on Instagram, but in reality all of the junk is often pushed to the other side of the room to snap a shot in a clean space.
Some people may hire house cleaners, but then forgo other fun adventures and luxuries because of the added cost.
Some people may serve their kids 3 awesome and healthy meals each day, but they might be behind on their laundry and not do as many activities as you.
Some people may have nicer things, but they may not have as great of a family life or support system.
The bottom line is that no one is perfect and everyone has their own challenges and battles to fight. Don’t believe everything you see on social media and focus on all the positives in your life and motherhood.
Motherhood Tip #8: Practice Gratitude
Building off the previous tip, don’t compare yourself to other and always be thankful for what you have as a stay at home mom.
Be thankful that you are able to stay home with your kids and make deep meaningful connections with them. Be thankful for the time you get to spend with them and the time you are able to spend being a homemaker and making your home tidy and welcoming for your family.
Make a list each morning or each week of things you are thankful for and review it every time you feel the mundaneness of motherhood start to creep in.
SAHM Tip #9: Remember That This is Only a Season
Finally, remember that your time as a stay at home mom with young kids is only a short season in your life. One day your kids won’t rely on you as much and one day you will be able to shower in peace or go to the bathroom alone.
Think about all the other seasons in your life and how long ago they seem. Depending on what stage of life you’re currently in – high school, college, or newlywed life might seem like ages ago. If your kids are older, the newborn or the toddler phase might seem like a different lifetime (newborn life seems so distant now that I have two toddlers).
So mamas, hold your babies tight and give them an extra cuddle tonight, because babies don’t keep!
How to Find Joy In the Mundaneness of Motherhood Summary
To break it down for you again, here are my 9 tips for how to find joy in the mundaneness of motherhood:
- Remember that children are gifts
- Understand that your role is important
- Visualize the end goal
- Do something daily that brings you joy
- Imagine the mom you want to be
- Set small goals
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Practice gratitude
- Remember that this is a season
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